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'Great land dashers~ Giant sky flyers~ Unite now~ Into Proteinman Omega~ Take down! Take down the demons~ Go! Go!! Go!!! Go Proteinman~ Omega!!'

Night has arrived in Sinnoh. In a luxurious hotel room, Dia crouches in front of the television, and sings along happily with the opening theme of his favourite TV program 'Proteinman Omega', a show about a robot hero which is fused from several trucks, ships and aircrafts. Being the constant big-eaters they are, he and Beh have a huge plate of sandwiches in front of them to keep their mouths busy while watching the show.

Behind them, Pearl sits on the bed and is trying to rationalize all the baffling events of the day. First, they have two Pokemon, Chimchar and Turtwig, crashing into them at the meeting place designated in the envelope's itinerary. Then, they have these weird high-tech devices known as the Pokedex, which they've accidentally registered as the official users. The weird thing about these Pokedexes is that the tour guide lady possesses one as well, and the three machines will simultaneously give off beeping sounds when they are brought together.

Pearl wishes to know what Dia thinks about it, but soon discovers that Dia has not heard a single word he's said, and is laughing so hard at the TV program that he has tears running down his face. Pearl instantly gets furious and hollers at the boy, demanding that he stops eating and turns off the television right away.

Dia and Beh get slightly dizzy from Pearl's deafening roar, and wonder what is wrong. Pearl places his hands on Dia's shoulders and addresses him as Diamond, his act of being serious, and says something is eerie about this trip which they've won from the Jubilife TV's Funny Grand Prix contest.

Dia sweatdrops and says he has found it eerie right from the beginning, ever since the supposed travelling has become a mission, but Pearl states that it isn't the travelling part that is the problem. Rather, it is their tour guide lady. Not only has she refused to reveal her name regardless of how many times they've asked, but she speaks to them as if she's passing down orders, which shouldn't be how a tour guide behaves.

On top of all, she has brought them to such a lavish hotel, the luxurious Hotel Jubilife, to spend the night. The two boys walk over to their huge room windows to look out, and once again feel awe-struck by the grandness of the building, highlighted by the giant golden Staraptor statue on the rooftop.

Dia grins that they have spent most part of their life between Twinleaf and Sandgem, and says he has never dreamed that he would one day stay in this famous hotel which he's only seen on television. Pearl doesn't seem to share the excitement however, and is certain that their tour guide lady is holding some sort of big secret. He believes that they must investigate upon it, but Dia seems doubtful.

Sitting down on the carpet floor, Dia resorts to food again, and opens up a bag of ricecookies to share with Beh while he continues to hear Pearl talk. Pearl states that the girl is staying in the penthouse suite right above their room, and puts on a proud grin as he reveals that he has already sent Chatlord to pry on her, causing Dia to choke in surprise.

Pearl: All we have to do is wait for Chatlord now! And while we do so, it is time for Manzai practice!! Dia: What~!! (startled) Pearl: Come on, let me butt-in! Act dopey now! (towers over Dia) Dia: Whaaa~~~~~ (jumps back) Pearl: Here, dump your food! (throws away Dia's ricecookies) Dia: Whaa~~~~~ (tries to save his food)

Upstairs, Chatlord tiptoes towards the terrace window of Lady Berlitz's room, and quietly slides it open. Making sure that nobody is looking, it sneaks behind the sofa which Lady Berlitz and Piplup are sitting on, and patiently waits to pick up on any useful information that may turn up.

Lady Berlitz's takes another sip of her tea, and her Pokegear soon begins to beep, which she answers to find a desperate Sebastian calling. The old butler exclaims that it already seemed like a lifetime although he has not seen the Lady for just one day. The term 'the Lady' somehow stands out to Chatlord, and the parrot Pokemon quickly makes an effort to memorize it.

Lady Berlitz sweatdrops at Sebastian's fervent voice, and Sebastian admits that he is finding himself pesky as well, but he truly wishes to protect her at all cost. Lady Berlitz assures him that she is all right, and says she has already met up with the two bodyguards. She states that she has even made it to the hotel now, and deposited Prof. Rowan's suitcase there.

This time, the term 'protect' catches Chatlord's attention, and it repeats the word in its head several times to remember it well. Having picked up two keywords, it slowly slinks out from the terrace window again to head back. Unfortunately, it finds itself face to face with numerous pairs of unfriendly eyes once it is outside, and instantly jumps with horror.

Downstairs, it is still Manzai time for Pearl and Dia.

Pearl: Speaking of Pokemooon!!
Dia: Speaking of Pokemooon~
Pearl: Speaking of Pokemon, they all have special abilities!
Dia: Special abilitiiies~
Pearl: There are lots of abilities, can you name me some~?
Dia: I cannot name even one.
Pearl: Huh? You don't even know a single ability?
Dia: That's true~ Because that is my dis-ability.
Pearl: (faints and blasts off)

Pearl: You know, you shouldn't have said that because abilities have huge influence on battles.
Dia: Is thaaat so?
Pearl: My favourite ability is no doubt Pick Up, which is sooo cool.
Dia: Oh, I know that one. A while ago, my throat keeps making funny 'hic' sounds, especially when I am full...
Pearl: (smacks Dia on the face) That is a hiccup, stupid!!

At that moment, Chimchar, who is watching them from the sofa, lets out a giggle, and both boys immediately turn to stare in awe at the little monkey. Pearl breaks into tears of joy knowing that their joke has managed to make a Pokemon laugh, and he feels extremely touched that Chimchar seems to relate so well to the verses he wrote. He immediately deems the fire monkey his soulmate, and dashes over to hug it. However, Dia sweatdrops that it isn't really the case, and points out that Chimchar was laughing simply because Turtwig has been sitting on the floor under it, and the leaves on Turtwig's head were tickling Chimchar's feet.

Pearl sulks for a moment at the revelation, but remarks that he still feels a strange kind of connection to Chimchar, ever since the moment it threw itself onto him in front of the Jubilife Condominiums. He has made up his mind to raise the little Pokemon properly, and decides to nickname it Chimlord.

Just then, his Pokedex pops open by itself and displays the information on Chimchar. Pearl is amazed at the function of the device, and reads that the little monkey can agilely scale sheer cliffs to climb atop craggy mountains. The boy is apparently happy about the description, and says it sounds to be the quick and speedy type, a trait that he himself shares.

He then steals a glance at Turtwig, who truly lives up to the slow nature of a turtle and is leisurely crawling on all fours. Pearl is amazed at the huge contrast between the two Pokemon, and is glad that he has partnered up with the right one. Turtwig gradually makes its way to Dia and Beh, and starts munching at the sandwiches left on the plate. Dia's Pokedex pops up to display the Pokemon's data, and Dia decides to nickname it Roo. He feeds one of his ricecookies to the little turtle, and grins that they seem to share similar characteristics.

Suddenly, an ear-piercing scream fills the room from above, and Pearl gasps that it is the tour guide lady's voice. He believes that Chatlord must have been busted, and says they must go up immediately and make up a lie for it.

However, when Pearl arrives at the door of Lady Berlitz's suite a few moments later, he discovers that a colony of Bidoofs have invaded her room after breaking in from the terrace window. The Lady clutches tight onto Piplup and stands helplessly on top of a sofa chair, while the creatures dig their teeth into just about everything in the room, destroying the furniture and even the walls.

Chatlord flies back over to Pearl unharmed, and the boy realizes that the Bidoofs were the real reason for the screaming earlier. He flips out his Pokedex to identify the rampaging Pokemon, but finds it odd that their front teeth appear to be much longer than the ones in the dex image. He tells Dia that they must figure out a way to stop the Bidoofs, but only then notices that his partner has yet to arrive and is still running along the corridor.

Right at that moment, the Bidoofs topple over the sofa chair Lady Berlitz is standing on, and the girl lets out another scream as she falls on top of the swarm. Pearl quickly orders a Fury Attack from Chatlord, and after reading from the Pokedex, an Ember from Chimlord. However, the attacks barely faze the creatures, and they soon begin to scurry out through the door, taking Lady Berlitz and Piplup along. Pearl, Chimlord and Chatlord get knocked down and run over during the process, and the boy hopes that Dia will manage to escape in time.

Out on the corridor, Dia bolts with shock and nearly chokes on his ricecookie when he sees the swarm heading towards him. He quickly turns around with Beh and Roo, and wonders what they should do. The Bidoofs stop for a moment to gnaw on the walls and other furniture around them, and Dia also stops to marvel at their sharp fangs, cutting through not only wood but also cement stone. He takes another bite of his ricecookie while Beh does the same, but Roo seems to have trouble snapping on its piece, which causes an idea to pop up in Dia's mind.

The boy hurries over to the elevator, and waves to catch the Bidoofs' attention. Pearl comes out from Lady Berlitz's room just in time to see the whole colony cramming into the small cabin, and after seeing where the lift is heading, feels baffled as to why Dia is taking them up to the rooftop. Remembering how slow and dopey Dia's ensemble is, Pearl suddenly feels very worried about them. He dashes up the stairs as fast as he could, but just as he steps out onto the rooftop, the scene in front of him stops him dead in his tracks.

While the Bidoofs are busy gnawing at the giant golden Staraptor statue, Lady Berlitz sits comfortably on a bench with Piplup, and Dia watches with Beh and Roo, still with ricecookies in their mouths.

Pearl fails to understand how Dia managed to calm down the Bidoofs so quickly, and Dia flips out his Pokedex to explain that he got the idea after reading the Pokemon's description. Bidoofs are creatures that constantly gnaw on strong logs or rocks to whittle down their fast growing front teeth. Apparently, the construction of Hotel Jubilife has severely cut down the amount of logs and rocks in the area, and the Bidoofs that reside there have lost their natural tools to polish their teeth, thus causing them to overgrow which greatly bother the creatures.

When Dia realized their reason of rampaging, he knew that the Bidoofs' front teeth are strong enough to cut through almost anything, and the only thing stronger than their teeth in the entire hotel is the golden statue on the rooftop, which was why he led them up there.

Pearl is pleasantly surprised by his partner's wit, and Dia himself is happy as well because Roo has just managed to finish a ricecookie on its own. Dia grins that he has won the fight against the Bidoofs without having to actually put up a fight, and pats a Bidoof on the head, saying that all losers should start being dental-floss-users. The joke causes Pearl to sweatdrop, but Lady Berlitz apparently finds it amusing, and breaks into a small giggle.

Pearl: Hm!? (turns and glares) Did you laugh just now?
Lady Berlitz: (nonchalant expression) I did not laugh.
Pearl: No, you did! You definitely laughed!!
Lady Berlitz: I did not laugh. I insist.

Soon, all the Bidoofs have had enough gnawing, and show looks of content on their faces. However, at that moment, Pearl realizes that the Staraptor statue is not simply coated in gold as he initially thought, but is actually made of pure gold. His mind starts to boggle at the implication behind, but Dia simply beams with joy, and feels grateful that the front teeth of the Bidoofs have finally returned to their normal length.

Pearl puts on a fake smile to agree with Dia, and hugs a Bidoof to rejoice that the crisis is over. But then he quickly breaks into a fury and jabs one of the Bidoof's paws into Dia's face, calling him a complete idiot. He hollers that the statue is made of pure gold, and he can already tell from its look that it costs ridiculously expensive.

Pearl turns around and starts to feel dizzy, failing to come up with any good plans to handle the situation. He has no idea how they are going to compensate for its damage, and his steps begin to get wobbly as Dia tries to steady him.

But then Lady Berlitz assures them it is of no problem, and makes the shocking revelation that the hotel is actually her property. Her simple remark causes Pearl and Dia to drop their jaws in disbelief, and the two boys have a hard time convincing themselves that it is not just a joke. At that moment, Chatlord starts to chatter the two terms 'the Lady' and 'protect' over and over again, and Pearl wonders where it learnt them from.

It seems that the current crisis has indeed been solved, but little do the three young ones know that an ominous shadow is secretly watching them on the rooftop of a building right opposite to Hotel Jubilife...

(Original Japanese Jokes)

  1. In the first half of the Manzai dialogue that plays on Pokemon abilities, Dia says he cannot name even a single 'Tokusei' (ability), because Pearl is too 'Mendokusai' (annoying). Dia deliberately twisted the word 'Mendokusai' into 'Mentokusei' to have a pun on the term 'Tokusei'.
  2. In the second half, Pearl says his favourite ability is 'Mono-hiroi' (Pick Up), but Dia misinterprets it as 'Monomorai' (a sty), and thus keeps complaining about one of his eyes getting a swollen spot lately. The two words resemble each other phonetically.
  3. After Dia solves the problem of the Bidoofs, he makes a joke that the 'Hai-sya' (loser) should go to see the 'Ha-i-sya' (dentist), two nouns that sound the same in Japanese but are written differently.

Thanks To Coronis For Writing this for us



339: VS Bidoof


Volume 30